Sacred Intimacy * Tantric Coaching * Erotic Magic for Men

5 Games LOVERS Can Play to Spice up Their SEX

More and more men are asking me--every day--how they can enjoy their sex more.  Creative sexual expression seems to become especially important when we've been living with the same man with whom we also would like to enjoy having more sex, more often, and more expressively...

I actually literally created this set of exercises for one of the first couples who contracted me to support them in spicing up their sex life.  I offered these exercises because I use them myself, with my lovers!  I find that even with lovers I love very much, we each have a craving for more raw, primal, exciting sex together.  Sometimes we seek it from others, and then...when we're together in bed, if the energy seems to be lacking for the HOT SEX we actually want, we frequently use these games and experience completely miraculous, mind-blowing results.

One of us can be sleepy or tired one minute, feeling like we're a complete failure as a lover, and then...we use one of these games, and literally--within as little as 3 minutes--we're passionate lovers again, as if the lethargy or anxiety of the previous moment never existed.

I hope these exercises will bless your sex life as much as they have mine!  Do it!  Enjoy it!  Fuck-YUMMM!

Game 1:

Undressing Ritual

    Take turns asking each other, "Could I remove your ____?"  As you remove each piece of your lover's clothing, be sure to anoint his body with affection and sensual appreciation, all over.  Switch places within a minute or two after removing the next article off of his body and adorning him with love and affection.

    Game 2:  How could I pleasure your body for the next 3 minutes?

    Ask your lover how you could pleasure him for the next 3 minutes.
    Set a timer for 3 minutes.  If it's a phone, keep it in airplane mode and "do not disturb".  
             Consider getting an inexpensive timer, just for SEX games, which is NOT your phone🤩

    Decide who goes first--flipping a coin makes it easy.

    Receiver--ask your lover "How could I pleasure you for the next 3 minutes?  It could be a certain kind of touch or affection, or a request for a certain kind of attention.  You might start with requests that are gentle and a rub of the beard across a nipple, or a kiss...or a request for your lover to just look in your eyes and listen to you for 3 minutes while you tell him what you're feeling right then.  Just Remember--You only have until the timer goes off, and you must stop promptly then!   

    Negotiate if Needed.  Giver--If, by chance, what's being asked is something you're not quite in the mood-for or not quite ready to do, make a suggestion to your lover for something that feels like a total "hell-fucking-YES" for both of you, then let him do that to to you! can ask for might be "I want to just fucking lie here for 3 minutes and let you lightly caress me all over with your luscious lips," or..."I want you to read me that poem you wrote yesterday about the Chris

    Receiver--completely let go of the need to do anything for the whole 3 minutes.  Just receive.

    When the timer goes off, switch places.

    Switch back and forth 2, 3, 4, or more turns.  If you like, you can increase the timer from 3 minutes to 4 minutes, 5 minutes, or more for each turn.  Follow your desire!

    Check-In.  After a few rounds of switching back and forth, you might each take a 3-minute, timed turn to ask each other questions such as--What surprises you or intrigues you about this experiment?  What have you been noticing or learning?

    Game 3:  What would happen if I gave you what I think you need (or want), sweet lover?

    • Set a timer for a length of time, starting with something totally do-able, like 3 minutes.
    • Give your lover what you think he needs (or wants) until the timer goes off. The effects of the experiment might change, depending on whether you give him what you think he wants, or what you think he needs.  Try it both ways, on different turns!
    •'re giving him what you think he may need or want.  There's no such thing as "doing it wrong".  This is an experiment.
    • After the turn is over (timer goes off), check in with your lover and ask him to honestly report how closely what you thought he needed actually approximated what he felt he needed.  Listen to what he says and take it in.  Each of you, ask yourself, silently...What am I learning?

    Game 4:  Indulge yourself in enjoying your man in the way that most pleases you.  

    This is personally one of my favorite games, because this type of game because your over-worked mind--whether you're the active or passive partner--no longer has any other choice than to stop and let go.  

    First, choose a SAFE WORD such as the first random thing you see (ie. "flower arrangement" or "cat"), or otherwise use the Universal safe words, "Green-Yellow-Red".  "Green" means "keep fuckin' going, lover!"  "Yellow" means, "I'm feeling uncomfortable or approaching a limit and  need you to pause what we're doing so I can check in with you."  "Red" means "I need to stop what we're going immediately".

    Now...Have your way with him, unless he says the agreed-upon safeword, starting with a totally do-able amount of time, such as 3 or 4 minutes, then maybe increasing the length of time each time/day you try this experiment.

    Photo:  Himeros TV--the world's largest candy-store playground for gay lovers

    Game 5: The Dirty Talk Game

    I just came out with a new video I made with my colleague, Will Tantra, called "The Dirty Talk Game".  I think you might really like this game! You can view it by clicking here.  I often offer it as a bonus to men who do couples' work with me, especially ones who want to do a series of sessions.   The name is a bit of a misnomer, since the game is more about learning to ask for what you want, rather than a requirement that you learn to "talk dirty", but hey...speaking what you've been holding back from saying is--inevitably--exciting!

    For now, here is the basic format of the exercise, in written form, which is a good exercise to do without a timer.

    Each of you take turns following these 4 steps:

    • 1) Pay your lover a compliment, such as "I've always loved the way your lips look," or "you look fucking good in that jock strap" or "staring into your eyes makes me fucking hard"
    • 2) Tell him what you want to do to him, ie. "I would so fuckin love to lick your fucking lips and drink you up" or "I want to tickle your fucking shaft with my tongue until you fucking shiver head to toe, fucker".  Be as explicit as you can be.  This is, after all, the dirty talk game.
    • 3) Do to him what you said you wanted to do to him and tell him how much you're enjoying it!  For example:  "I'm fucking loving the taste of your fuckin' juicy lips...I feel like I'm fucking drinking you, and it tastes so fuckin' good!"
    • 4). Ask him a question.  The question can be anything, but one easy question to ask him is "How do you like that?  Are you enjoying what I'm doing to you?"  This is the end of your turn.

    Now Switch Roles!