Sacred Intimacy * Tantric Coaching * Erotic Magic for Men


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Learning to Cherish Life (Even When it Sucks)

Posted by Brad Amberheart on March 14, 2019 at 10:15 AM Comments comments (0)

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I'm a Tantrica.  What that means is that I treat everything in my life as an experiment.  Today, I would like you to join me in a brand-new experiment:  Listen to this soundtrack from YouTube while you read these words, which I wrote while listening to the same thing you're listening to now.

In Tantra, we say "Everything is an Experiment".  That's what my teacher taught me, and what his teacher taught him.  Life is about finding new ways to experience things.  What was once "routine" becomes a brand-new, life-giving experience.  This applies to SEX, as well as walking, talking, and breathing.  When, for instance, was the last time you walked through busy city streets while paying exquisite attention to every single breath you take?  When was the last time you had dinner in the middle of your living room floor, naked, with your lover--or best friend?  

Osho once said, "Routine is death."  Try things a different way.  If you always wear red, see what it's like to wear black.  It might have bland results, but you won't know until you try.  For all we know, black could be your new red.

Maybe this music sounds foreign, strange, or even weird?  Maybe it delights your heart and inspires you?  The secret is in noticing how you're inspired.  Even what is uncomfortable and unfamiliar can give us valuable information.  Taking time to notice what we don't like gives us valuable insight into what we really DO want!  If we're resisting, then what are we resisting exactly?  What makes us uncomfortable?  After all, this is only a song.  We're not stuck with this experience forever.  Before we know it--maybe even just precisely at the moment when we start to say, "Hey, I kind-of am starting to like this rhythm and blending of voices"--it's over.

We might feel stuck in our job, or in our relaitonship.  But all in all, like a song, this will be the only time you hear it, and then it's gone.  Pretty soon you'll realize that your relationship, home, and job all are passing as well, in their own way.  None of us will live on Earth in this body forever, right?  All in all, it's time to pay attention and wake up to what's happening right now, because for better or for worse, it's passing by like water under the bridge.  

We can learn to celebrate everything.  Even the grief, sadenss, and anguish are another side of our passion.  Yes, even grief, sadness, and anguish are signs that we passionately love someone or something enough to evoke such a strong emotion.  Let it move!  Let it be!  Allow it to exist in a safe space, where your words and actions may bring no harm, but only serve to propel you to the next echelon of your existence.  Amen, and Blessed Be. 

Learn.  Grow.  Allow new insights.  This is the message of Tantra.  



Asheville, North Carolina, USA

14 March 2019

"Why do People Have SEX?"--A Deeper Exploration of what Tantra Might Really Mean

Posted by Brad Amberheart on February 26, 2019 at 10:05 AM Comments comments (1)

Pacific Coast, Oaxaca, Mexico--a memoir of divine ecstasy

"Why do people have sex?"

I was shocked to hear these words come out of my own mouth.  Frankly, I was shocked I could still speak...surprised to hear my own voice at all.  After all, I had literally let go of everything I considered to be "reality" for indefinite period of time, to be with him, here.

For who-knows-how long, I had been in the water with a man--a straight man, mind you--who proceeded to undulate me, gyrate me, and dance me to the end of love.  We were practicing a potent aquatic healing modality known as AguaHara.  The technique involves undulations in the water--and sometimes under the water--which are designed to open up the body and free the mind.

On the water we danced, in the water, and alas--under the water.  I cannot explain what happened to me.  All I know is I forgot my fucking name, and I reached a state in which nothing existed anyore--other than infinite love.  Nothing existed, other than love...and yet everyone and everything I had ever known were there with me.

While I was under the water, I saw my Grandmother.  She talked to me.  I was a little boy again.  I could smell the sweet welcoming aroma of her house.  We played with flowers again.  I could smell her greenhouse.  Multiple realities were present at once.  On one level of reality, here I am, being pulled through the water by a man I've never seen before.  On another level of reality, he's pulling me through the water, and we have ALWAYS been lovers who dwell at the bottom of the sea.  And on another level, I'm 5 years old, in my grandmother's greenhouse, smelling the flowers....

'WHO AM I?"  I'm talking to God.  God is as real as the flowers I smell and the flashing lights of brilliant sun and azure sea-color tones which flash behind my eyelids as my Lover-of-all-Time (the straight guy I just met) takes me on a transcendental journey through the water...

Who AM I?  What does it mean to say "I"...

Mind gives up.  Mind can no longer stay alive.  The Old Me is dying.  The New Me is even more Ancient than the "me" I ever knew.  Nothing can stop this perfect divine peace from permeating my body.  I am ALIVE with every fiber of my being.  Every single cell is singing THANK YOU, GOD, FOR GIVING ME THIS LIFE!  I LIVE...

And part of me dies there, on that beach...

He pulled me out of the water, up onto the sand.  Like a fish out of water, I lay there, panting on the warm sand.  Heart pounds and body shudders as tears stream down my face with the realization that I cannot--and will not--ever be the same again.  I no longer worry about what I've lost.  There is no space in my infinite consciousness for that busy old mind anymore.  I'm just here, alive...forever...


"Why do people have sex?"  Did I just say that?  I hear the words part my salty lips, as I shudder with laughter and tears at the same time.  The words catapult throught the air, softly and in slow motion, and land in the heart of my compadre who has just taken me on this journey through the ocean.  I see my words touch his heart, and I watch them spread out through his whole body, until he is smiling and laughing all over, just like me...

Why do we have sex?  Perhaps even more curious is why I...a man who holds the idenity of "Tantric Sex Coach"...a man whose daily live THRIVES on the celbration of euphoric, fucking FUN SEX could ever even ask such a ridiculous question!  

I guess it all comes down to this:  When you're in ecstasy, and you can see God, and every breath you take feels like flying and cutting somersaults over the tops of trees, then who cares how we got there?  And if we can get there--to that place of ecstatic Oneness with everything--by immersing ourselves in the Water and letting go of all pre-conceptions of who we thought we were, then, well...what's there left to do, other than revel in it?

I've returned here, like a sea turtle to this beach on the coast of Oaxaca, Mexico, to come back home to the place of my Mother.  I love SEX.  I love MEN.  I love ORGASMS.  And, my life's experience in each day is teaching me that ORGASM is a STATE OF BEING.  I want to LIVE in a state of orgasm!  Whether I'm screaming in ecstasy or wailing in the grief of life, I want to KNOW that I'm inseparable from the place I call HOME.  

And so here I am, home.  Home is never far away.  It's in there, somewhere, right at the core of my heart.  Some people say that the longest journey a man can take is the journey back home to his heart, and so...that is what I've come here to do, and here I am.  Bless-It-Be, and Amen.

The LIFE without END

Posted by Brad Amberheart on February 19, 2019 at 8:50 AM Comments comments (0)

Santa Maria Tonameca, Oaxaca, Mexico

I was up before the sun.

Nothing could keep me from leaving my bed behind

leaving behind a fitful, restless night

filled with anxiety

of wanting to be more in life

of wanting to finish everything,

so that finally, somehow, at long last,

I could just…

Let Go.

“Let go!” everything within me screams,

as I bolt out the door,

leaving the tossed-about covers of my bed in a heap

grabbing nothing more than a pair of underwear and a sarong…


The streets of the village are as quiet as they get…

but that means a cacophony of birds

dogs running through the streets

people taking off to morning market on mopeds…


I run past them

past the last house

all the way…


My God…I know I’ve done this before…


out my door

past every house

past the very last one

and then…


I run faster,

as fast as my 46-year-old feet an carry me…

beating on the sand


faster than I ran from the bigger boys in school…

so fast that maybe all of the weights

of “getting shit done”

will finally be behind me



I don’t know how long I can hold it together you know.

I don’t know how long I’ll be able to hold on

to the old way


Yeah, you know…

the OLD way…

of fitful, restless nights,

thinking about how much responsibilities we have…

thinking we can get them done in our sleep,

so maybe we can wake up

and enjoy our lives

in peace


You know, I’m always telling people, “Heaven isn’t a place we go when we die. Heaven is right here.”

But tossing and turning till the sun comes up ain’t heaven, now, IS IT?




I have to let go, really.

I have to let go of so many strongholds.

I have no choice.

I brought myself to this task…

of surrendering…

of being baptized…


Yes, that’s right, I came to Mexico to be baptized…

not by a priest, mind you…

unless you count ME…

the priest who holds so many people in my arms…

desperately seeking

at last

to baptize…





I’m taking a course in an aquatic healing modality called AguaHara, on the Pacific Coast of Oaxaca, Mexico. The course lasts 2 weeks, 5 to 7 hours a day, mostly in a pool for demonstrating and practicing techniques, with special practice sessions in the ocean and lagoons. People from literally all over the world have come to take this course, and I, for one, have waited 9 years.


It’s a modality that frees the body, prompting a complete let-go of inhibitions. I like to say it’s like freeing oneself from the rigid constructs, and entering into a more fluid way of life. I mean…we all need structure, and we all need fluidity, but what I’m talking about is the BALANCE between the two which is—ultimately—Tantra.


Without banks, a river is just a puddle that spreads itself out so thin that it eventually just evaporates and disappears…


Somehow, I’ve finally gotten the clue, after a lifetime of searching, that if I let go just a little more, with focused will and intention, then life will perfectly organize itself.


Dirty Underwear

Posted by Brad Amberheart on February 17, 2019 at 8:55 AM Comments comments (0)


Mexico City, Feb. 16, 2019

What I loved most about him was his fetish for tight binkini briefs...

Or...wait...let me start over...

What I really loved about him was the fact that his bedroom was a mess...there wasn't even any room on his bed for us to fuck

in between piles of...

dirty underwear.


It's fun to let go of it.

On one hand, there's the fucking exquisite delight of getting tied up...

and on the other hand...

There's the complete loss of all sense of being in control

which happens when you go to a guy's house you've never met




"You could have been KILLED," I could hear my friends saying.  "Are you fucking KIDDING ME?"

What I know is that people watch way too much fucking television...

If only they could catch a glimpse into my world...


Everything in me said YES.  His pictures, his voice on the phone...and most of all, that filthy fucking guardian angel of mine who never leads me astray.  I'm also a big boy with lots of experience who happens to have really good street sense.  I sent a WhatsApp message to a friend to let him know I was going on a hot sex date at a guy's house who had a great vibe and looked hot in his underwear, then headed out the door.

The action was hot and heavy.

He couldn't get enough of my crotch...groping, grasping, squeezing my balls through the tight underwear he had begged me to try on...a thong which couldn't possibly hold my trhobbing dick, but nonetheless, all he wanted was to feel me, throbbing, wearhing his ultra-gay tight lycra bikini...

I LOVED his black, beautiful curly hair, his hungry-animal face, his horny fucking eyes that couldn't get enough....

Like ravenous animals, we groped, growled, and nibbled one another' sflesh until we were both in a frenzy...and without a word--in Spanish or in English--we let ourselves surrender into being complete carnal PIGS who just didn't give a fucking damn how crude, vulgar, or down-right insensitive we looked...

We both loved every fucking dick-throbbing minute of it...





Thank you, GOD

for completley unpretentious, overtly crnal, nasty-ass fucking SEX


Rev. Norm Self on Sex, God, Orgasm, & Death--live interview

Posted by Brad Amberheart on August 4, 2018 at 3:10 PM Comments comments (2)

HUMOR is one of the most vital tools for bringing human beings to enlightenment.  I have found teachers who are HUMOROUS to be among the most effective, life-changing influences in my life.

I ran across this shocking interview with an 83-year-old man who recently came to fame as the "World's Oldest Porn Star".  Laugh your ass off as he gets interviewed by Natasha, a Russian whore while she's live on assignment in Mexico City!  The secrets he reveals--even in such a joking context--will seriously change the way you feel about BIG topics like sex, God, orgasm, and death.

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Lone Hunters: a Story of the Never-ending Search for Sexual Satisfaction and Fulfillment

Posted by Brad Amberheart on August 2, 2018 at 4:05 PM Comments comments (0)

Gay Men are still searching endlessly, everywhere for great sex. Have we found it?                                     A Message of Hope by Brad Amberheart

Multi-orgasmic whole body orgasmic sensation is generally bypassed….

When two men, specifically, get together for sex, the “recipe“ generally goes something like this: stroke cock, suck cock, fuck…CUM…

What happens when two men get together with the express intention of focusing on absolutely none of these rigid expectations or goals?

What happens is ECSTASY…BLISS…not just Bliss, but whole-body ORGASMIC bliss. Unfortunately, in the endless pursuit to get it on and get off, very few people have ever known the meaning of whole-body orgasmic bliss. Sometimes we hear guys rave about the past…those wild orgies of the 70's, you know...or if we’re in just the right company, we sometimes hear the proverbial tales of ancient times—maybe in ancient Rome or Greece or perhaps India…where there were special temples devoted to sexual celebration, healing and fun...

When was the last time you heard sexually ecstatic orgasmic bliss emanating from the houses in your neighborhood…let alone from a temple?

A man came to me for a session today. He told me, “This really feels strange…unusual…for two men to touch each other this way…”

And I said, “Strange? Which part of it appears out of the ordinary?”

And he said, “Men usually don’t touch each other this way.”

And I said, “What do you mean this way? I really honestly don’t know what you mean."

He was rather at a loss for words, a quiet man. He really couldn’t articulate what he meant, but as I tuned in, I was able to identify, at last, with what he was saying. Men do not normally touch one another tenderly, or so he believed. Men only touch women tenderly. It’s acceptable to touch women tenderly—in fact, it’s expected—but somehow, when it came to touching men, apparently another protocol had been unconsciously ordered. Apparently, the unconsciously-ordered protocol was for men to touch one another harshly, abruptly, strongly…

You know, man-like.

And then I had the pure delight of telling this man, “Yeah, that way of touching other men with strength and force and abruptness… Somehow we’ve come to call that “civilized“. You have to go to the so-called “uncivilized“ world to find those obscure tribes of men who still live together with other men in a remote oasis of Egypt, or in the tucked-away, obscure hidden, lost valleys of Old Mexico… Maybe there, in the “uncivilized world,” you can still find men who touch one another tenderly, as lovers… And they don’t even have to call it anything… Not even “gay”.

“But I’m happy to tell you,” I said to the man in my presence, “that even in the so-called civilized world, there are still a few very scattered and rare places where men still touch one another tenderly, with love and sweet affection and even full-on excitement. Such places are rare. There may only be a few left…but I’m very happy to tell you…You are in one of those places right now. This is it. Welcome home to the place where men still touch each other as lovers. Welcome home to my temple.”

Sex Magic Tip #2

Posted by Brad Amberheart on July 10, 2016 at 12:30 AM Comments comments (1)

Gay Sex Magic Tip #2

Continue to practice blessing people you meet at social functions, online, in bars…When approaching men, especially in a potential “cruising” space such as a bar or an erotically-charged online hook-up site or app, continue the experiment of sending love and affection to the men you see there, without expecting any specific results (ie. without the expectation that you’re going to have sex, or anything else…just an experiment to observe…and learn). When you’re standing face-to-face with another man, what’s it like to imagine the path he has walked just to get to this point, standing here in front of you? Meanwhile, while you’re standing there, allowing yourself to acknowledge the road he has walked, imagine the road you have walked, and acknowledge, for yourself, the journey that brought you here, to this place, now.. Tantra is about observation and new discovery, so while you’re letting yourself see this man—and you—and the path you’ve tread to get there, be sure to take note of what you’re learning about yourself :-)

Sex Magic Tip #1

Posted by Brad Amberheart on June 7, 2016 at 2:25 PM Comments comments (0)


Whisper positive affirmations in the ear of your lover while you are in high states of erotic excitement—like when you’re belly-to-belly and working each other up into a cock-fucking-pleasure frenzy, or even while you’re passionately fucking his ass! The key is to whisper these affirmations—or say them out loud—while in the throes of erotic ecstasy. These are extremely powerful prayers, stated as if they already happened, i.e.. “Your fuckbuddies are magical lovers. We’re nourishing your heart and spanking your hot fucking balls to excite the living fuck out of you, because excitement nourishes the body and feeds the soul. You’re remembering all that you’ve learned on your own, doing the self-love exercises over the past few weeks. It’s synthesizing in you. Hot assfucking is healing, synthesizing, and helping you to re-member…” You might also experiment with saying the affirmations out loud for YOURSELF while you are stroking your cock and massaging your own body, head to toe to asshole.

BREATHING TOGETHER = Hot Marathon Fuck Session

Posted by Brad Amberheart on May 19, 2016 at 11:10 AM Comments comments (0)


The Most Reliable Pathway to a HOT MARATHON FUCK SESSION

BOSTON--Spring Equinox 2016

Brandon* and I had done experimental Tantra sessions before...and in Tantra, everything is an experiment.  In Tantra, there's room for everything!  High and holy and down-right raunchy all become one in the same.  Lover, friend, and fuckbuddy...they all become ONE.  Tantra finds unity in so-called opposites.  Here's what happened when by buddy Brandon and I set out to blaze a new trail together, in bed:

It was an over-the-fucking-top FUCK session with Brandon...a dark-skinned lover with a slightly-stocky, wrestler-type build (yum!).  From what he told me, he NEVER gets to have marathon ecstatic sex sessions, so my gift to him was that I gave him the gift of BREATH.  No lover had ever entered into the consciousness of breath with him.  The truth is, very few people on earth have ever been conscious of their breath for one full minute in their LIVES!  To do so with a lover while having great sex is...well...something BRAND NEW to virtually everyone alive in Earth today, and yet...what we're talking about here is an ancient art...something our ancestors did.  It's so OLD we have to re-birth it and make it new again.  

That's what Brandon and I did, in Boston, on a snowy Spring Equinox day in a suburb of Boston.  We BREATHED...Especially at the height of our excitement, when we both felt like we were going to CUM explosively...we breathed.  "Breathe with me, Lover," I guided him, again and again, at each peak.  

He was a man who told me he NEVER got to have marathon fuck sessions.  Who would've known?  Just pausing now and then and breathing instantly transformed the usual, mundane, so-called "quick release" into a full-body ecstatic experience of pure fucking sexual BLISS that can be ridden like waves, joyously, for HOURS!.  When the excitement felt like more than we could stand, I would say it again, "Hey, you sweet hot fucker...want to stop and breathe with me for a second?"  When we paused, our breaths would become one.  We would let our hearts return to a more normal pace, lying together until we were totally relaxed, and then...we would start moving together again, letting the energy build back.  Sometimes, the energy would build back slowly, from a state of almost-sleeping to a state of full-on fuck-fun.  Other times, it would only take a second or two to go from totally relaxed and motionless to full-throttled ass-fucking delight.  

What FUN!  Brandon learned that just pausing to BREATHE now and then, and communicating with his lover, could forever transform his sex life...and I learned new ways to play with the ways to move sexual energy with my belly, my pelvis, my ass, my balls, and my heart.  I had forgotten what a WILD bottom I could be, and how much I enjoy a man who can FUCK me upside-down, backwards, and sideways--and never cum.  It doesn't matter whether you're someone has NEVER breathed consciously with a lover or whether you're someone like me who's been at it for 15 always learn something new.  And that's what TANTRA really is all about--learning something new!

Here's to Brandon and me...and evolutionary fuck-a-liciously HOT SEX!  Amen.

*Name has been changed to honor the anonymity of a fellow Tantric explorer in Boston.

Sex Standing Up. Is it Better?

Posted by Brad Amberheart on May 10, 2016 at 1:45 PM Comments comments (0)

SEX STANDING UP--is it better?

Enhance your orgasmic pleasure by keeping your spine erect during erotic fun!  

Here’s what happened when a fun fuckbuddy and I decided to STAND UP for pleasure during an experimental Tantric-erotic session last Sunday morning…

We did our ecstatic erotic experiment on 150 acres of private forested property, on an earthen dam by a pond.  We had decided to begin our session in my small tent. I had peeled back the dew-covered rainfly, letting the bright morning sun fall on the thin mesh fabric walls and see-through screen roof of the tent. What a sight the two of us must have been! We were completely alone. Only the trees, the morning birds, and the wild animals received the delight of our shouts, grunts, and groans. Had anyone’s eyes fallen upon my tent, what they would have seen through the tantalizing mesh would have been two men in ecstasy…naked, sweaty bodies intertwined, dancing for joy, horizontally…oooo-YEAH!


But there came this magical point in our session when we took turns standing up. Naturally, my tent is too low to stand up inside, but since the doors were open on both sides, we each stood, one at the time, with our feet inside the tent and the upper half of our body up, out of the tent, erect, toward the sky…


The morning sun was hitting the walls of the tent full-on, so it was hot inside—a least 80 degrees—even with both doors open. Our bodies were both slick with sweat from wrestling with each other naked and cock-wrestling together into ball-busting-hot-horny oblivion (Agh! How I fucking love to feel how hard my dick throbs in my tight camouflage briefs while I sit at my computer writing this!)


There came a point in our session when the heat became so intense that I stood up, with my feet inside the tent and the upper half of my body up, out of the tent, erect, toward the sky…This was a most pleasing position! My hot, horny, sweat-drenched body stood up to breathe, and I found myself being cooled and caressed by the wind, while my hot sweaty fuckbuddy inside the tent continued to relentlessly lick, suck, and caress my hot sweaty cock and balls with his devilishly-fun tongue.


I was aware of how good it felt to arch my back and lean my head back to face the sky and see the late-morning sun over the crown of my head, while my cock got teased, excited, and sucked so good by my hot new fuckbuddy. I got so excited I felt like I was just about to shoot a fucking huge load of cum right down his throat, so instead, I proceeded to start dancing. I danced, gyrating my pelvis, taking ever-deepening breaths from the base of my balls to the crown of my head, and raising my arms up over my head while I sang out with tones, grunts, growls, and shouts for joy.


And most miraculously, even through this state of euphoric oblivion, I still managed to continue to teach my new buddy how to re-direct a lifetime of pent-up horny energy. He had come to me, specifically, to learn how to manage his high sexual energy, have more satisfying sex, and to learn new ways to let his sexual vitality to feed his heart, his mind, and his overall level of creativity in his life. So on this hot and sweaty late-spring morning, alone, together, naked, in the great outdoors, with no one else there to hear us other than the birds and the bees, I told him,


“You see, I’m moving my body this way and tilting my head back because I’m experimenting with how to raise my ecstatic energy level without cumming. Most people unconsciously look down, hold their breath, and become rigid when they get really sexually excited, and so they quickly ejaculate rather than experimenting with high states of erotic ecstasy. They look down toward their dick, while holding their breath, and unconsciously block the flow of ecstatic, life-giving energy between their cock and balls and their heart and mind.”


He looked up from his wonderful, hands-and-knees, cock-licking position, and as I said the words, I touched my heart, then my throat, then my 3rd eye, symbolically reminding both of us of the ascension of hot erotic energy upward, to fuel the heart, the voice, the mind, and beyond…


And then, we switched places! Yummy!


“A lot of people—virtually all of them—never once consider the position of their spine when they’re making love!” I told my orgasmically-excited buddy as he rose up to a standing position to meet the sky, and I proceeded to caress his cock with my whole mouth and tongue, letting the head of his long, hard phallus massage the back of my throat…


Who ever thought I would wind up teaching from this position? I thought to myself, as I continued to pleasure my partner, on my hands and knees, while guiding him to keep his spine upright, his head tilted back, his body moving, and his vocal cords engaged.


My pleasant thoughts continued, even while I “worked”. When somebody told me in 4th grade that I would make a great teacher one day, you can bet your sweet ass they weren’t thinking about this kind of teaching! But what kind of teaching could be better? I mean…when you think about it, there are a LOT of people out there in this world who feel blocked, restricted, and otherwise extremely limited in their sexual expression. “Good sex” seems to mean getting hard, staying hard, and getting the deed done, and yet…here I am, helping a fun, sexually-excited man to his feet, teaching him to dance and move his body and celebrate the same life that’s coursing through these trees right now and causing these birds to sing out like there’s no tomorrow. Is this what people are talking about when they talk about “having sex”. I bet not. I bet they’re talking about something else…something specific…like getting it hard and getting it in there and…


But they never said anything about dancing. They never said anything about dancing, and singing out for joy, and letting the tears stream down my face while I laugh and sing and shudder head-to-toe, trembling like dew on a leaf and feeling my whole body convulse with pleasure and joy. Is this “sex”. You fucking bet it is! Sex of the highest caliber! Sex that fucking rocks the fucking world off its fucking pent-up repressed foundations and returns the power to the people! Sex that honors this body, this heart, and this mind as a part of this intricate web of birds, forest, and creatures that dance and fly! THAT’S what I’m talking about! Can I hear an AY-Men? GAY-MEN!