A Life-Affirming Guided Meditation for Kinky Motherfuckers
Are you kinky? This meditation is designed for men who get excited by dirty talk and are ready to practice sexual magic: the union of overt sexual excitement with life-affirming language.
Daddy's gonna excite the living shit out of you, and there's nothing you can do about it...except throb in your fucking pants and dream about squirting your fucking pent-up load of jizz in that hot boy underwear of yours...
I know you're throbbing in your pants right now, just like me, so now...take your hands OFF of your horny dick and follow these instructions:
Put your hands at your side, and take a long, slow, deep breath, all the way up from your balls to your heart, and back down. Do this slowly, 3, 4, or 5 times, before reading any further. Ready...stop...breathe...>
<Again>
<Breathe...again...>
<One More time...deep, full breath, all the way up from your nut-sac to your nose, and back down...>
Good!
So good...I've got you fucking hot now...
The idea is to make you so fucking excited you want to bust a nut in your pants, and once you're that hot, I'll continually remind you that you deserve the best in life...that you fully deserve to wake up every day knowing that you're thriving on this earth, feeling thoroughly fulfilled in your life's existence, while everybody you know benefits...